Youth and Cell Phones
The Problems
Surveys show that one in five teens have shared sexually explicit photos of themselves through viewable content, such as:
1. Sexting
2. Internet access on handheld devices like the iPod touch, PlayStation Palm, Nintendo DS
3. Video on Demand
Ø Verizon - After Dark VIP, Logo, Maxim, Spike, Top babes
Ø Other carriers – similar programming available
4. Mobile TV (Many providers have immoral content available to view on their cell phones from channels like HBO, FX, LOGO, etc.)
Teenagers also access explicit information through downloadable content, such as:
1. Applications
Ø Verizon – Lingerie Football League, Sexy SHOW Girls Video
Ø Facebook
Ø Myspace (Fox News refers to Myspace.com as “a parent’s worst nightmare and a predator’s dream come true!”)
2. Wallpapers
Ø Verizon – Wild & Sexy Latinas Slides, Sexy Cougars, College Hotties and Hunks, FHM Hot Babes
Ø Sprint (“screensavers”) – Best Bikini Babes of 2009, Sexy Bikini Cougars, Playboy
Ø AT&T (“graphics and themes”)
3. Music
The Problems
Surveys show that one in five teens have shared sexually explicit photos of themselves through viewable content, such as:
1. Sexting
2. Internet access on handheld devices like the iPod touch, PlayStation Palm, Nintendo DS
3. Video on Demand
Ø Verizon - After Dark VIP, Logo, Maxim, Spike, Top babes
Ø Other carriers – similar programming available
4. Mobile TV (Many providers have immoral content available to view on their cell phones from channels like HBO, FX, LOGO, etc.)
Teenagers also access explicit information through downloadable content, such as:
1. Applications
Ø Verizon – Lingerie Football League, Sexy SHOW Girls Video
Ø Facebook
Ø Myspace (Fox News refers to Myspace.com as “a parent’s worst nightmare and a predator’s dream come true!”)
2. Wallpapers
Ø Verizon – Wild & Sexy Latinas Slides, Sexy Cougars, College Hotties and Hunks, FHM Hot Babes
Ø Sprint (“screensavers”) – Best Bikini Babes of 2009, Sexy Bikini Cougars, Playboy
Ø AT&T (“graphics and themes”)
3. Music
Some Tips
Usage Blocks – You can block almost any function on your cell phone by calling your cell phone provider and asking them to block specific options. If you do not want your child to have internet access that can be blocked while the phone can still make and receive calls. You can block texting, picture messaging, downloading capabilities, voicemail etc… all while still being able to use the phone to make and receive calls. I personally like this option the best. I believe a teenager should use a cell phone as a cell phone and does not need to have access to the web, downloads, videos, or tv on it.
Phone Locks – You can lock down your child’s cell phone by creating a password in it. This means that they cannot change any settings on their phone without you typing in the password first.
Spyware – (Mobile spy, My Mobile watchdog, Cell Safety) Companies are starting to create software that you can download onto your child’s cell phone so you can read texts, view picture messages, and view incoming and outgoing calls. Currently this is only available for smartphones like Blackberry, iPhone, or Windows Mobile.
Usage Controls – (AT&T Smart Limits, T-Mobile Family Allowances, Verizon Usage Controls) For an extra monthly fee this function allows you to set the time of day your child can text and the amount of texting they can do. This tool helps more with saving money than filtering content.
Filters – (T-Mobile Web Guard, Verizon Wireless Content Filters, AT&T Media Net Parental Controls) Some providers are creating filters for cell phones. They block material that is inappropriate for children. Filters are not flawless. Remember that the provider rates the material and their standards may not be the same as yours.
Usage Blocks – You can block almost any function on your cell phone by calling your cell phone provider and asking them to block specific options. If you do not want your child to have internet access that can be blocked while the phone can still make and receive calls. You can block texting, picture messaging, downloading capabilities, voicemail etc… all while still being able to use the phone to make and receive calls. I personally like this option the best. I believe a teenager should use a cell phone as a cell phone and does not need to have access to the web, downloads, videos, or tv on it.
Phone Locks – You can lock down your child’s cell phone by creating a password in it. This means that they cannot change any settings on their phone without you typing in the password first.
Spyware – (Mobile spy, My Mobile watchdog, Cell Safety) Companies are starting to create software that you can download onto your child’s cell phone so you can read texts, view picture messages, and view incoming and outgoing calls. Currently this is only available for smartphones like Blackberry, iPhone, or Windows Mobile.
Usage Controls – (AT&T Smart Limits, T-Mobile Family Allowances, Verizon Usage Controls) For an extra monthly fee this function allows you to set the time of day your child can text and the amount of texting they can do. This tool helps more with saving money than filtering content.
Filters – (T-Mobile Web Guard, Verizon Wireless Content Filters, AT&T Media Net Parental Controls) Some providers are creating filters for cell phones. They block material that is inappropriate for children. Filters are not flawless. Remember that the provider rates the material and their standards may not be the same as yours.
From http://www.thenationalcampaign.org/sextech/PDF/SexTech_Summary.pdf
5 TIPS TO HELP PARENTS TALK TO THEIR KIDS ABOUT SEX AND TECHNOLOGY
Talk to your kids about what they are doing in cyberspace.
Just as you need to talk openly and honestly with your kids about real life sex and relationships, you also want to discuss online and cell phone activity. Make sure your kids fully understand that messages or pictures they send over the Internet or their cell phones are not truly private or anonymous. Also make sure they know that others might forward their pictures or messages to people they do not know or want to see them, and that school administrators and employers often look at online profiles to make judgments about potential students/employees. It’s essential that your kids grasp the potential short-term and long-term consequences of their actions.
Know who your kids are communicating with.
Of course it’s a given that you want to know who your children are spending time with when they leave the house. Also do your best to learn who your kids are spending time with online and on the phone. Supervising and monitoring your kids’ whereabouts in real life and in cyberspace doesn’t make you a nag; it’s just part of your job as a parent. Many young people consider someone a “friend” even if they’ve only met online. What about your kids?
Consider limitations on electronic communication.
The days of having to talk on the phone in the kitchen in front of the whole family are long gone, but you can still limit the time your kids spend online and on the phone. Consider, for example, telling your teen to leave the phone on the kitchen counter when they’re at home and to take the laptop out of their bedroom before they go to bed, so they won’t be tempted to log on or talk to friends at 2a.m.
Be aware of what your teens are posting publicly.
Check out your teen’s MySpace, Facebook and other public online profiles from time to time. This isn’t snooping—this is information your kids are making public. If everyone else can look at it, why can’t you? Talk with them specifically about their own notions of what is public and what is private. Your views may differ but you won’t know until you ask, listen, and discuss.
Set expectations.
Make sure you are clear with your teen about what you consider appropriate “electronic” behavior. Just as certain clothing is probably off-limits or certain language unacceptable in your house, make sure you let your kids know what is and is not allowed online either. And give reminders of those expectations from time to time. It doesn’t mean you don’t trust your kids, it just reinforces that you care about them enough to be paying attention.
Talk to your kids about what they are doing in cyberspace.
Just as you need to talk openly and honestly with your kids about real life sex and relationships, you also want to discuss online and cell phone activity. Make sure your kids fully understand that messages or pictures they send over the Internet or their cell phones are not truly private or anonymous. Also make sure they know that others might forward their pictures or messages to people they do not know or want to see them, and that school administrators and employers often look at online profiles to make judgments about potential students/employees. It’s essential that your kids grasp the potential short-term and long-term consequences of their actions.
Know who your kids are communicating with.
Of course it’s a given that you want to know who your children are spending time with when they leave the house. Also do your best to learn who your kids are spending time with online and on the phone. Supervising and monitoring your kids’ whereabouts in real life and in cyberspace doesn’t make you a nag; it’s just part of your job as a parent. Many young people consider someone a “friend” even if they’ve only met online. What about your kids?
Consider limitations on electronic communication.
The days of having to talk on the phone in the kitchen in front of the whole family are long gone, but you can still limit the time your kids spend online and on the phone. Consider, for example, telling your teen to leave the phone on the kitchen counter when they’re at home and to take the laptop out of their bedroom before they go to bed, so they won’t be tempted to log on or talk to friends at 2a.m.
Be aware of what your teens are posting publicly.
Check out your teen’s MySpace, Facebook and other public online profiles from time to time. This isn’t snooping—this is information your kids are making public. If everyone else can look at it, why can’t you? Talk with them specifically about their own notions of what is public and what is private. Your views may differ but you won’t know until you ask, listen, and discuss.
Set expectations.
Make sure you are clear with your teen about what you consider appropriate “electronic” behavior. Just as certain clothing is probably off-limits or certain language unacceptable in your house, make sure you let your kids know what is and is not allowed online either. And give reminders of those expectations from time to time. It doesn’t mean you don’t trust your kids, it just reinforces that you care about them enough to be paying attention.
FIVE THINGS TO THINK ABOUT BEFORE PRESSING “SEND”
Don’t assume anything you send or post is going to remain private.
Your messages and images will get passed around, even if you think they won’t: 40% of teens and young adults say they have had a sexually suggestive message (originally meant to be private) shown to them and 20% say they have sharedsuch a message with someone other than the person for whom is was originally meant.
There is no changing your mind in cyberspace—anything you send or post will never truly go away.
Something that seems fun and flirty and is done on a whim will never really die. Potential employers, college recruiters, teachers, coaches, parents, friends, enemies, strangers and others may all be able to find your past posts, even after you delete them. And it is nearly impossible to control what other people are posting about you. Think about it: Even if you have second thoughts and delete a racy photo, there is no telling who has already copied that photo and posted it elsewhere.
Don’t give in to the pressure to do something that makes you uncomfortable, even in cyberspace.
More than 40% of teens and young adults (42% total, 47% of teens, 38% of young adults) say “pressure from guys” is a reason girls and women send and post sexually suggestive messages and images. More than 20% of teens and young adults (22% total, 24% teens, 20% young adults) say “pressure from friends” is a reason guys send and post sexually suggestive messages and images.
Consider the recipient’s reaction.
Just because a message is meant to be fun doesn’t mean the person who gets it will see it that way. Four in ten teen girl, who have sent sexually suggestive content did so “as a joke” but many teen boys (29%) agree that girls who send such content are “expected to date or hook up in real life.” It’s easier to be more provocative or outgoing online, but whatever you write, post or send does contribute to the reallife impression you’re making.
Nothing is truly anonymous.
Nearly one in five young people who send sexually suggestive messages and images, do so to people they only know online (18% total, 15% teens, 19% young adults). It is important to remember that even if someone only knows you by screen name, online profile, phone number or email address, that they can probably find you if they try hard enough.
Don’t assume anything you send or post is going to remain private.
Your messages and images will get passed around, even if you think they won’t: 40% of teens and young adults say they have had a sexually suggestive message (originally meant to be private) shown to them and 20% say they have sharedsuch a message with someone other than the person for whom is was originally meant.
There is no changing your mind in cyberspace—anything you send or post will never truly go away.
Something that seems fun and flirty and is done on a whim will never really die. Potential employers, college recruiters, teachers, coaches, parents, friends, enemies, strangers and others may all be able to find your past posts, even after you delete them. And it is nearly impossible to control what other people are posting about you. Think about it: Even if you have second thoughts and delete a racy photo, there is no telling who has already copied that photo and posted it elsewhere.
Don’t give in to the pressure to do something that makes you uncomfortable, even in cyberspace.
More than 40% of teens and young adults (42% total, 47% of teens, 38% of young adults) say “pressure from guys” is a reason girls and women send and post sexually suggestive messages and images. More than 20% of teens and young adults (22% total, 24% teens, 20% young adults) say “pressure from friends” is a reason guys send and post sexually suggestive messages and images.
Consider the recipient’s reaction.
Just because a message is meant to be fun doesn’t mean the person who gets it will see it that way. Four in ten teen girl, who have sent sexually suggestive content did so “as a joke” but many teen boys (29%) agree that girls who send such content are “expected to date or hook up in real life.” It’s easier to be more provocative or outgoing online, but whatever you write, post or send does contribute to the reallife impression you’re making.
Nothing is truly anonymous.
Nearly one in five young people who send sexually suggestive messages and images, do so to people they only know online (18% total, 15% teens, 19% young adults). It is important to remember that even if someone only knows you by screen name, online profile, phone number or email address, that they can probably find you if they try hard enough.
Helpful Resources
Your Cell Phone Providers Website – Use your cell phone providers website to find out what kind of filtering tools they offer. Every Provider is different. Keep in mind that they are the ones rating the content.
Your Cell Phone Bill – Your paper bill will tell you what was downloaded and which phone did so. While it does not give you a web history it at least informs you if your child is downloading or viewing inappropriate material.
Kim Komando –is the host of a talk radio show where she answers questions from listeners about technology. She is the parent of young children and has great tips to help parents. One of her best articles on kids and cell phone use is found at: http://www.komando.com/kids/tip.aspx?id=5728&page=1
XXXChurch.com – is a ministry that has practical tools that you can use to help keep you and your family from pornography. They have good programs for internet monitoring on your PC and have recently come out with a free app for the iPhone and iTouch which sends a browser history from the device to an accountability partner of your choosing called X3Watch.
Covenant Eyes – is a web filtering website that offers tools for you PC for a monthly charge. They have begun rolling out internet filters for cell phones but currently only have tools for certain smart phones.
The News – Believe it or not the news is still doing a good job of alerting parents about current issues. Unfortunately the news doesn’t do enough homework to give good advice as far as what to do in light of the issue. Use the news to find out what the latest issues are and then do more research on them yourself. Below are some news stories to check out.
http://abcnews.go.com/GMA/Parenting/story?id=6529871&page=1
http://technology.timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/tech_and_web/article6738532.ece
http://www.websafety.com/top-news/videos/
Your Cell Phone Providers Website – Use your cell phone providers website to find out what kind of filtering tools they offer. Every Provider is different. Keep in mind that they are the ones rating the content.
Your Cell Phone Bill – Your paper bill will tell you what was downloaded and which phone did so. While it does not give you a web history it at least informs you if your child is downloading or viewing inappropriate material.
Kim Komando –is the host of a talk radio show where she answers questions from listeners about technology. She is the parent of young children and has great tips to help parents. One of her best articles on kids and cell phone use is found at: http://www.komando.com/kids/tip.aspx?id=5728&page=1
XXXChurch.com – is a ministry that has practical tools that you can use to help keep you and your family from pornography. They have good programs for internet monitoring on your PC and have recently come out with a free app for the iPhone and iTouch which sends a browser history from the device to an accountability partner of your choosing called X3Watch.
Covenant Eyes – is a web filtering website that offers tools for you PC for a monthly charge. They have begun rolling out internet filters for cell phones but currently only have tools for certain smart phones.
The News – Believe it or not the news is still doing a good job of alerting parents about current issues. Unfortunately the news doesn’t do enough homework to give good advice as far as what to do in light of the issue. Use the news to find out what the latest issues are and then do more research on them yourself. Below are some news stories to check out.
http://abcnews.go.com/GMA/Parenting/story?id=6529871&page=1
http://technology.timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/tech_and_web/article6738532.ece
http://www.websafety.com/top-news/videos/